Hmmmm... it seems as though I'm just too damn tasty... being a crumpet and all.... now I have wild animals chasing me everywhere.... HELP!

Uh oh, I've been caught...

"uhhh, are you sure you wouln't like cream with me? no? didn't think so."

I know it's been ages since my last entry, but unfortunately, the Chronicles have now been terminated. The page will still keep it's name, coz it's just so fucking gawsome (great + awesome = gawsome, for all you retarded fuckheads). Anyway, I'll try and post as often as possible, but I'm not promising anything.

Catcha's!

Well, well, well... look who's still un-toasted...

You'll never guess what happened... I got a letter today from The Home for Retired Kitchen Appliances. That rascally, old, stupid toaster has been admitted to room 108... I guess his warranty ran out... I'm guessing he only has about a week left... If someone doesn't come along and fix him soon, he will humanely have his cords cut... 

So, at least I dont have to worry about him any more...

And now, the bad news ... unfortunately, it seems, that appliances chasing crumpets, bread and the like is a family run business, so I now have that ignorant toasters nephew, a waffle maker, taking his place...

I wonder how long that one will last??

Until next time, keep on smashing those toasters! (and any other electrical item you can get your hands on)

Hmmmmm... it appears my good friend Roach has gone crazy... I never thought it would happen... but hey, I guess I was wrong...

Have a good eternity at the insane asylum, buddy!

Muahahahahaha!!!

The chronicles continue . . . . .

It happened again.... The toaster came after me... but once again, I got away... It's like something from a Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner cartoon.... Let's just hope the toaster will keep failing to catch me...

Note: Yes, Roachie dear, I did leave out the part about your immense sexiness distracting the toaster last time.... wait.... did I say sexiness???? ........ huh..... I've just a word from our sponsers that I did....... apologies to all.... my bad..............